Monday, August 24, 2009

Not My Child Monday

So this week, I have some good please, for all that's good and holy, pause and empty your bladder. I do NOT want to be held responsible for any unintentional puddle hopping.

It was NOT my child who stood in front of a full length mirror yesterday at Target and practically bent over backwards in her efforts to puff out her chest. I definitely didn't catch her peeking under her clothing, making an inspection. When asked why she was taking up acrobatics, she did NOT say, "I'm trying to make them grow and get milk so I can feed my baby!" (Atta-girl! Already giving her baby "the best"! =))

It was not MY completely toilet trained child who had not one, but TWO accidents at my MOM's.....and on CARPET.

It certainly wasn't any offspring of mine who corrected an unsuspecting older gentleman at Walmart who admired my "cute little boy" with an exasperated, "SHE's not a BOY, she's a girl- she even has a "ba'gina" 'cause God made her a GIRL." And I'm pretty sure it wasn't me who grew wings and high tailed it out of that store as fast as my little legs could carry me not even checking to see if the man had heard or understood the last part of her explanation.

(In my defense, I had the girls and boys are different talk after she told me that when Addison grew up she would be a boy. We explained that girls and boys were different because God made them differently, and they had different private parts. But my daughter wasn't content with that- she wanted their NAMES. I only told her one time hoping that she wouldn't remember such unfamiliar and strange words. So much for that...)

What has your child "not" done this week? Please share the fun!

1 comment:

Knitted in the Womb said...

It was NOT my 5 year old daughter who told my mother-in-law--following the birth of my 4th child--"and I knew he was a boy because he had a penis!"